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Category Archives: Building Memories

Memories with grandma and grandpa

GrandparentsLoveI was reading an article on Kidshealth. It said that over 5 million children live with their grandparents. I started reminiscing about when my family went on vacation to visit my grandma and grandpa. Those are great memories. They lived in Florida and they had an orange tree in their yard. We would get up at 5 o’clock in the morning, with my Grandpa, to go fishing in Lake Okeechobee. We caught speckled perch, using worms and then Grandma would clean them and cook them for dinner that night. Sometimes we would go to Fort Pierce and go in the ocean. When I was 14, Walt Disney World opened up and we would go there for one day, every year, for many years. My grandma and grandpa died many years ago but the memories of those vacations make it seem as if it was yesterday.

Unfortunately, when some people get divorced they don’t let their children see their ex spouse’s parents. To me this is unfair because the children deserve to have a relationship with all of their grandparents. Grandparents nurture in different ways than parents do. A child cannot have too much love. If you are one of those parents who try to punish your ex by keeping your child/children away from their parents, I encourage you to think about how that will affect your children. Stop the madness and let your children start  making those memories.

Please let us know what your remedy would be for keeping in touch and building those relationships with their grandparents, even when you’re divorced from their son or daughter.

Visit us on our official website at www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

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Try to look for the good things in a tough co-parenting relationship

co-parent dad holds sonCo-parenting can be challenging but it can also be rewarding. I tried to be thankful for the good things in the tough co-parenting relationship that I had. Even though sometimes it seemed like it was overwhelming, there were some good things about it. Just the fact that we had an amazing daughter to share was special. I couldn’t and still can’t imagine my life without her. There are always good things about everyone. Try to remember the things that attracted you in the first place. Be sure to share those great memories with your children.

Oprah talks about how her life changed the minute she started writing down three things that she was grateful for every day. She said you find yourself looking for things to be grateful about and, that in itself, changes your life. I recommend that you keep a journal and try to write a couple good things about your co-parent each week.

In the My Turn Your Turn co-parenting website a journal is provided for documentation as well as personal memoirs.

I’ve always been a pretty optimistic person and I raised Jillian by myself for the first five years of her life. Her father decided he wanted to be a part of her life and called when she was almost 3. Then, when she was 5 we got married and I moved to Florida, where he was living. I knew on the train trip, moving to Florida, that I made the biggest mistake of my life. Being the optimist that I am, I looked forward and I tried to make the new marriage work. We stayed married for only a year and a half. He never got a job and was emotionally and verbally abusive. I left and that’s when co-parenting and visitation schedules came into my life.

As a single parent again, I found out quickly that when you look at life optimistically chances are your children will too. I was trying to teach Jillian to see the beauty in everything and one day, as I was driving her home from school, she looked out the window and pointed to a construction site of a 7-11. She said to me “Oh, look mommy, Isn’t that beautiful, it looks just like Epcot”. It was so cute and really funny. I knew that she was trying to see the beauty in everything, even a construction site.

It Is a positive thing when a co-parent wants a relationship with your children. Statistics show that children thrive much better when they have both parents involved in their life. “Are you raising fatherless children?”

I recommend that you do everything you can to make your shared parenting relationship work for the benefit of your children. This is not the type of reward that pays monetarily but it will reap you rewards in many other ways. Always look for the good!

Blessings to you,

Tracy

Visit us on our official website at www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation. Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar, online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

 

Empower Your Kids, Help Build Self Esteem With Affirmations

???????????????????????????????So much of what we believe we can do or cannot do, as adults, stems from things that were instilled in us as children. Most parents want their children to be confident, content, productive, and happy adults. Unfortunately,  there exists parents who tend to tear down their children’s confidence as a form of punishment, control, or stemming from their own insecurities. Shame on them. I know firsthand that, when in a co-parenting situation, it can be devastating to know that your child fears, regrets or just plain doesn’t want to go to the other parents home because they are picked on, embarrassed or just not comfortable there. In the case of my daughter, Jillian, she endured all of the above at her dad’s house. As a mom I felt helpless. I had to stick to the shared custody agreement and visitation schedule and although we had both taken the required parenting classes nothing seemed to help.  I tried to encourage her and prayed for her. Their relationship was always strained and ended the week she turned 14.  Thank God she survived and is a very confident young lady.

It’s important to know that what we sow into our children, during their early formative years, shapes their inner self worth and greatly impacts how they see themselves later in life.  About six years ago I did a seminar and learned a tool that has helped me in my own private battles with self-confidence. That tool is saying affirmations, and it works. If you have a child who is being bullied, lacks confidence, has anxiety about going to the other parent’s house, or has low self-esteem, give affirmations a try.

Affirmations are positive sayings, words, bible verses, or phrases that you say to yourself over and over again until they become a part of your thought process and a belief system. Try to make saying these affirmations fun so they will impact your child’s life more quickly. For example; get two mini trampolines. You, the parent, bounce on one and your child bounces on the other. You yell out an affirmation and then your child yells out an affirmation. Make it into a fun game while at the same time you are building your child’s confidence and courage. If you and your child are athletic, try throwing a ball to each other as each phrase is called out . The louder, the better. Go for a power walk and do the same thing.  Shoulders back, head up, March!! Place emphasis on different words in your sentences. Statements must always be positive no negative words or phrases.

Moms and dads, this is a great tool for you too, as your children grows in confidence so shall you.

Here are some power phrases that you might try with your child, or perhaps the two of you could make up some of your own.  Pick about five or six phrases and say them over and over again.

“I am a great kid”
“I have compassion and love”
“I will laugh not cry”
“God is always with me”
“I am in charge of how I feel”
“I have courage”
“I make a difference”
“I am lovable”
“I am smart”
“I am kind”
“I am fun to be around”
“I have a great brother/sister/father/mother”
“I am a great son/ daughter/sister/brother”
“The world is better because I am here”
“My dad loves me”
“My mom loves me”

Emphasize different words; ” I will laugh not cry” ” I WILL laugh not cry”

“I will LAUGH not cry” “I will laugh NOT cry” “I will laugh not CRY”. This gives the sentence a different impact.

Remember, what we put into our mind stays there forever. When we control what we allow in, we start to take charge of what our sub conscious has to work with. Henry Ford once said “If you think You Can or You Think You Can’t, You’re Right.” And I think he’s right. Let’s help our kid know their worth.

Please let us know how this works for you and your child. Share with us a technique that you use to build your child’s confidence. We’d love to share it with our readers.

Tracy

P.S. Affirmations can work to improve the quality of your life as well. Try creating your own list to help you be the best parent, co-parent, step-parent,etc.

About My Turn Your Turn

Visit us on our official website at www.MyTurnYourTurn.com and sign up for your free 30-day trial. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website that helps organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

 
 
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