Co-parenting can be challenging but it can also be rewarding. I tried to be thankful for the good things in the tough co-parenting relationship that I had. Even though sometimes it seemed like it was overwhelming, there were some good things about it. Just the fact that we had an amazing daughter to share was special. I couldn’t and still can’t imagine my life without her. There are always good things about everyone. Try to remember the things that attracted you in the first place. Be sure to share those great memories with your children.
Oprah talks about how her life changed the minute she started writing down three things that she was grateful for every day. She said you find yourself looking for things to be grateful about and, that in itself, changes your life. I recommend that you keep a journal and try to write a couple good things about your co-parent each week.
In the My Turn Your Turn co-parenting website a journal is provided for documentation as well as personal memoirs.
I’ve always been a pretty optimistic person and I raised Jillian by myself for the first five years of her life. Her father decided he wanted to be a part of her life and called when she was almost 3. Then, when she was 5 we got married and I moved to Florida, where he was living. I knew on the train trip, moving to Florida, that I made the biggest mistake of my life. Being the optimist that I am, I looked forward and I tried to make the new marriage work. We stayed married for only a year and a half. He never got a job and was emotionally and verbally abusive. I left and that’s when co-parenting and visitation schedules came into my life.
As a single parent again, I found out quickly that when you look at life optimistically chances are your children will too. I was trying to teach Jillian to see the beauty in everything and one day, as I was driving her home from school, she looked out the window and pointed to a construction site of a 7-11. She said to me “Oh, look mommy, Isn’t that beautiful, it looks just like Epcot”. It was so cute and really funny. I knew that she was trying to see the beauty in everything, even a construction site.
It Is a positive thing when a co-parent wants a relationship with your children. Statistics show that children thrive much better when they have both parents involved in their life. “Are you raising fatherless children?”
I recommend that you do everything you can to make your shared parenting relationship work for the benefit of your children. This is not the type of reward that pays monetarily but it will reap you rewards in many other ways. Always look for the good!
Blessings to you,
Visit us on our official website at www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation. Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar, online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.