In the world of the single parents, blended families and co-parenting, things can get quite chaotic during the holidays. Now that Christmas and New Year’s are over it can be tough getting the kids back on a normal routine.
Usually during the Christmas break children are shuttled back and forth between two homes. Depending on how your relationship is with your co-parent the transition for the children can be quite exhausting. Add to that lots of sweets, staying up late, parties, and presents and you have a recipe for fatigue and often there’s a letdown when it’s time to go back to school.
Jillian was usually very wound up when she got back from her dads. She was very excited to be back with me and couldn’t wait to tell me about the presents she got at her dad’s house. If she was with him on the second half of the break teachers could always tell that she had just come back from her dad. Her behavior differed for a few days and getting her back into our regular routine.
I believe it’s important to help you kids with that transition back to your routine.
Here are 5 tips to help the transition go smoothly.
1.) Don’t drill the kids about their visit with your co-parent. Let them bring up the subject themselves. If you persist on finding out information about the other parent the children may become very nervous and fear that they are somehow betraying the other parent.
2.) Be genuinely interested in the things that they share with you about the visit. Don’t show any signs of jealousy, anger or disappointment that they had a good time.
3.) Encourage them to journal and document their experiences so they have those memories forever. Journaling is good for children to be able to express themselves in a safe way and this also works well if they had a bad visit and need to vent.
4.) Don’t undermine the other parent by trivializing their experiences or gifts. If coparents, blended family members, and others involved in shared parenting act positively about the other parent the children thrive much better.
5.) Create a routine when the children get back that is calming such as having story time, reading in their bedroom alone, taking a walk with them or any other activity that distresses and slows them down.
Discuss the upcoming semester and help them think positively about the start of school. List some things that they’d like to accomplish and help them set their goals for the new year. Be positive and encouraging and make sure that they get a good night’s rest.
Don’t be surprised if the routine isn’t back to normal for a couple days. That’s normal in the coparenting world.
Share with us at my turn your turn ways in which you help your kids adjusted back to a normal routine at your house.
Visit us on our official website at www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation. Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar, online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.