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Monthly Archives: August 2012

Reflections and Wishes

Bzzzz Do you hear that buzz? We are in the final days before the official launch of the My Turn Your Turn website and as you can imagine our office is buzzing with excitement. As we reflect on the last 12 months of development, we feel it is important to take a moment to thank everyone that has dedicated themselves to help create what we believe to be the most comprehensive co-parenting website online.

My Turn Your Turn, was created to help parents and co-parents organize their families and improve communication in their homes. Our goal was to design a simple, easy to use system for all moms, dads, grandparents, foster parents, step-parents and extended family members that share a child with a co-parent. Here are our hopes for you:

1. We hope that you find comfort and inspiration in knowing that there are other mothers, fathers, grandparents, stepparents and foster parents just like you that are going through divorce and custody settlements. Learn from others and help others by sharing your story.

2. We hope that as you or someone you love enter family court that you are reminded of the love you have for your child and that no matter what you will do what is best for your child. Leave emotions out of the courtroom and store important files in one easily accessible location.

3. We hope that you will record your child’s timeless memories, photos and documents so that you can share them with your children and grandchildren for years to come. Enjoy the youth of your children by posting your family’s wonderful experiences in your shared or private journal.

4. We hope that you will be able to communicate more effectively with your child’s co-parent with shared journals, expense reports or calendar entries. Avoid arguing in front of your children and reduce emotional outcomes with written communication.

5. We hope that you see a light at the end of the tunnel and realize that although you’re going through a difficult time it will get better. Reach out to your community and ask for help when you need it or channel that frustration in your private journal.

Above all, we’d like to wish you and your family all the strength, courage, commitment and love you will need to stay connected, no matter what obstacles lie before you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for following us and inspiring us to do what we do for families everywhere. We couldn’t do it without you!

Please follow and like us on Facebook: http://www.Facebook.com/myturnyourturn for the daily countdown to our official launch next week.

Thank you,
Tracy Taylor, Erika Raia & My Turn Your Turn team

Visit us on our official website at www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

 

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Names and faces can lead to childhood bullies

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but names and faces will never hurt me!” I grew up with that phrase and would recite it every time someone did or said something that hurt my feelings. Saying it always made me feel better. That was the beauty of my childhood, words did not have the impact they would have later in my life.

As an adult, I married 2 verbally abusive husbands and endured a tremendous amount of verbal abuse on a daily basis. The words always hurt more than the ones I heard on the playground as a child and took me nearly a decade to overcome. It wasn’t long that my self-esteem and inner voice disappeared. I remember my father saying “Tracy, you have lost your spark, there’s something wrong with you. Your eyes are dead.” I was blocking out the pain and emotions like joy, love and gratitude that I used to feel so freely.  I thought that I was strong enough to stand up to the words and the men. I believed that I could fix everything and them. I was wrong.

It was years later before I realized that the behavior that I was modeling for my daughter and stepdaughter was unacceptable. I knew that I could not stand for that kind of treatment anymore. It wasn’t good enough for my daughter and stepdaughter and it wasn’t good enough for me. I eventually got the courage to leave. I thank God everyday that my daughters did not marry the same kind of men and I am especially grateful that I stopped that pattern in my own life.

Violence comes in many different forms and typically starts with verbal abuse before graduating to physical aggression. I believe the pattern of abuse starts at a very early age and continues into adulthood because of a believe system that words don’t hurt. People don’t just become a verbal or physical abusers overnight. It often starts in their own homes, perhaps by them being bullied by their parents, extended family or siblings. It then leads to them bullying on the playground and in later years their own friends or family members.

Parents, if you or your children are using cruel words towards another person, you need to understand that that type of behavior can lead to more aggressive and abusive types of behavior later in life. Teach your children each and every day to choose their words wisely. Be a positive role model and show them compassion and kindness for others. Volunteer in your community, root for the underdog or help those in need and your children will benefit greatly.

Teachable Moments:

Here is a video of Alye, an eighth grader who has been bullied: http://m.explorernews.com/mobile/news/marana/article_2562685c-6553-11e0-95df-001cc4c03286.html

I recommend that you watch the video with your children and then have a discussion about bullying with them. Ask them if they are saying hurtful things to others or if they have been hurt by words that have been said to them. Help them understand the impact that those words can have not only on the person that they are saying them to, but also on their own future. With one child at a time we can make a difference in the future of all of our children.

Please share your experience of bullying with us. Tell us about your child, possibly bullying someone or perhaps he/she was the victim of bullying. Your story could help another parent on My Turn Your Turn.

Check back next week for an important announcement about our official launch of http://www.MyTurnYourTurn.com

Thank you for reading,

Tracy Taylor, CEO/Founder
My Turn Your Turn

co-written by: Erika Raia

Visit us on our official website at www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

 
 

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Teaching kids to have a passion for learning

It is that time of year again when parents prepare their children for school. While many mothers and fathers are busy finding the right clothes, backpacks and supplies, others are thinking about the best way to prepare their children emotionally and intellectually for a new school year.

RC Sproul once said, “Burning hearts are not nurtured by empty heads” and it made me think about my own childhood and how enthusiastic I was when it came to cheerleading, my boyfriend and my friends but not school. I was a good student and was active socially but was intellectually lazy like so many teenagers are.

I started to wonder what my parents could have done or said differently to encourage us to want to acquire knowledge. They were not intellectuals themselves and never talked about me or my siblings attending college. On the other hand, marriage and having our own family was discussed frequently and expected of each of us. My parents were good parents but times were different then and gender roles were complex. I was determined to teach my daughters that there was more to life than marriage and that education was the key.

So, how do you inspire children to want to learn? Attend college? Have a passion for school? There are a lot of resources out there that can help you teach your children passion for learning. I believe that the most important thing you do as a parent is to be a good role model. Be passionate and you will inspire passion. Be knowledgeable and inspire knowledge. Share your passions with your children and encourage them to share theirs. Try reading books, watching movies, visiting museums, experimenting with new recipes and even traveling to new places. Make learning fun!

Fuel your children’s fire with these fun, easy to read resources:

“Finding what you love” written by Jake O’Callahan www.zenteen.net

40 developmental assets for adolescents http://www.search-institute.org/developmental-assets/lists

Motivating the Underachiever http://www.about-underachieving-teens.com/motivate-underachievers.html

Keeping books in your teen’s life http://www.brighthubeducation.com/parenting-teens/123422-encourage-teens-to-read-with-these-reading-strategies/

We hope that the information shown here on My Turn Your Turn is helping make your parenting more successful. We are within weeks of launching our official website. Please share your parenting stories with us and help inspire other families.

Thank you,

Tracy Taylor
Co-written by Erika Raia

Visit us on our official website at www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

 
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Posted by on August 15, 2012 in Parenting, Positive Parenting

 

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