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Monthly Archives: July 2012

Teaching compassion

The other day, as I was driving to a mission center to feed the homeless with my Sunday school class, I realized that I get great joy from contributing my time to those in need. That led me to think about my own children and how proud I am of them when they reach out and do something kind for someone else. Of course I started wondering how could I turn this thought into a blog to encourage other parents?

Parents need to teach their kids to be compassionate members of society. As parents and role models, we need to be sure to teach our children to serve and to develop an attitude of “it’s not all about me”. And “what can I do for someone today”. That kind of attitude needs to be cultivated. Children need to be guided and it is never too late to start teaching compassion and sense of community to yours.

The best way to teach our children about being compassionate and giving is to be a charitable person ourselves. The single-parent life can be stressful and often short on time. I think it’s important that giving to your community is a very important area of our lives. An area that we need to be sure that our children are developing and an area we cannot forget about in our own lives.

Lift your spirits up and become involved in your community and get your children involved too. You won’t regret it and your kids and the people (or animals) you touch will appreciate your time! Your children will thank you for helping them connect to the community and gain a sense of accomplishment that will carry with them for years to come.

There are hundreds (even thousands) of organizations that are always seeking volunteers. What are your children interested in? What are their talents? What are your talents? Have you considered volunteering for Big Brothers Big Sisters, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Homeless Center, Humane Society, Senior Care Centers, Junior Achievement, your church, your children’s school, Red Cross or other community organizations?

Resources to get you and your family started:

“9 ways to teach your children about charity” by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller http://www.parents.com/parenting/money/donate-to-charity/9-ways-to-teach-your-child-about-charity-/?page=2

I also found this website that gives a list of community service ideas for kids of all ages;
http://www.kidactivities.net/post/Community-Service-Ideas-for-Kids.aspx

Please share with us at “My Turn Your Turn” some ways that you teach your children to have compassion for others by emailing us your story at service@myturnyourturn.com.

Thank you for reading,

Tracy Taylor

Visit us on our official website at http://www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

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Find T-I-M-E for your children

I saw a quote today that said “Children spell love, T-I-M-E” by Dr Anthony P Whitman and it reminded me of a childhood memory of my dad. I was just 14 at the time and I remember dad was working a full-time job and after work he would go and help his father in his junkyard in the evenings, after dinner.

I felt like my dad didn’t care about me because he never had time for me. I remember requesting an appointment. I wrote him a note that said “Dear Dad, I know you don’t have time for me but can I please make an appointment with you.” He laughed, his happy go lucky laugh. I don’t think he got my point.  I’m not saying that he was not a great dad. He was! We did take great vacations, spent Friday nights as a family, and often shared hot fudge sundaes on warm summer nights. I just loved him so much and wanted his attention as often as I could get it.

I did go on to become a workaholic so that I could be with him and spend more time with him. It was always on one of his projects and we were business partners for years. We owned a miniature golf course, a restaurant, a kid’s night club, and some other properties. We were so much alike that we could finish each other’s sentences. Our ventures were never extremely successful, but we sure dreamed big dreams and had fun. The whole family usually pitched in.

I now believe, it’s not what you can provide for your kids, but the time that you spend with them that ultimately matters most to them. Looking back, I have no regrets about being my dad’s right hand man (girl) but I wish we had spent some of that energy on other things. We could have done things like taking bike rides, swimming, building a sand castle on the beach or even mission trips with our church. At the end of  my dad’s life, he spent a lot of time with me in Florida. We talked about how great our projects had been. About a month before he died we were sitting in my living room. He knew that the end was near for him. He said to me “Honey, we did great things, didn’t we?” I said, “We sure did dad! You taught me so much and we had lots of fun too. Thank you!”

In close I’d like to say; take the T-I-M-E to make memories with your family. You won’t regret it.It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money to create a lasting memory for your family. I found a website that has 100 things to do with your kids for free or cheap. http://zenhabits.net/100-ways-to-have-fun-with-your-kids-for/  Check it out.

We would love you share some suggestions with our readers, here on the My Turn Your Turn Blog  to help them turn their T-I-M-E into LOVE. Please email us at service@myturnyourturn.com.

Thank you,

Tracy

Visit us on our official website at http://www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

 

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Co-parenting with integrity

While walking my dog I was thinking about integrity and how difficult it is sometimes during tough situations to keep your integrity intact. As I walked, I was daydreaming about being on Dr. Phil and he was asking me some tough questions. And boy, was I in trouble! It made me think of all the times I said things I later regretted such as when my ex-husband would push my hot buttons and instead of keeping my cool, I would give in and snap back. Most of the time I kept my cool but every once in a while it was too hard and those are the words I wish I could take back.

My goal was to keep my integrity, no matter what he was saying or doing. Sometimes I would cave and begin to question myself. After all, why would a normal person always behave properly, nice, and lovingly, when they have an ex-husband or ex-wife who is totally trying to destroy them? I realized that I wasn’t being nice or loving for him, I did it for myself, I did it for my kids, and I did it for my God. I’m not here to push religion, my faith and trust is in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I do believe there is a higher power and I’m pretty sure that everyone believes in something. It could be karma, it could be doing to others as you want to be treated.  But the bottom line is we have someone up there that we will we need to have integrity for. We have to have trust that if we do the right thing then good will ultimately prevail. If we don’t then the whole world goes amuck.

My second thought was that our behavior is a model for our children. Practice kindness and it will become second nature, almost as fluid as flying a kite. What we do as parents, our children will do as adults. If we are fearful they will probably be fearful, if we show integrity, is a good chance that they will also grow up having integrity. I found a website (Parenthood in America) they had an article titled” We Are What We See; The Family Conditions for Modeling Values for Children” by David Popenoe, PhD Professor of Sociology Rutgers University. http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Popenoe/Popenoe-Modeling.html

I thought it was a good article and we hope to continue to bring you little nuggets of information like this through our My Turn Your Turn Parenting website

Thanks for reading!

Good night,

Tracy

Visit us on our official website at http://www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

 

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