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Monthly Archives: May 2012

Are you raising fatherless children?

Have you seen a movie that really touched your heart and reminded you of your own family? I recently watched  the movie “Courageous” and it really struck a chord with me since my daughter struggled with her relationship with her father growing up. Despite the difficult years they had, it was only made worse when he left when she was just 14 years old and never came back.

I watched “Courageous” and was inspired by the promise these four policemen made to be the best fathers they could be. Many of them also struggled with their relationships and having to learn how to balance their careers and be the fathers they wanted to be for their children. There were bumps along the road, just like many of us but it was touching to see them face their tragedies and issues head on with courage, patience, faith and love.

This is a great movie for any father that is struggling to connect with their children. Parenting is challenging and sometimes it feels like you are on the road to nowhere but just like these men in “Courageous” you learn to  face your challenges with courage. Some men (and women) choose to leave their children. Don’t be a statistic. Choose to be different. Choose to ask for help from others. Choose to be brave. Choose to reach out. Choose to be the best parent you can be. Children deserve to have a relationship with both parents.

What struggles are you facing in your family? Is there a movie that inspired you to take a different look at the challenges you are facing? Are you a co-parent that is experiencing issues with the other parent? What are you doing to contribute to the solution? Tell us your story.

Written by: Tracy Taylor
Co-Written by: Erika Rossi-Raia
www.MyTurnYourTurnBlog.com

 

Visit us on our official website at http://www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

 

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What Story do You Keep Telling Yourself That Keeps You Down?

According to Tony Robbins and many other life coaches, a lot of people have a story playing in their heads that keep them stuck in a negative mood or behavioral pattern especially after a divorce or life changing event. Many people for instance might keep telling themselves, “I’m a terrible parent, I’m not a good dad or a good mom. My children are not growing up right.” These are the types of thoughts that might make you depressed or overwhelmed and not have the joyful life that you deserve.

These type of feelings often show up after a divorce or separation, when you’re at an all-time low in your life. It can be tough to see ahead to the future and it can make you feel alone. The good news is that there is hope. You can change that negative pattern or those negative feelings. And, many life coaches say you can change it in a minute.

How do you stop yourself from telling those negative stories? How do you break the pattern of negative thinking?

First, you must recognize the emotions that you feel and the patterns that you have in your life.  What is the story you keep telling yourself? Why is that story important to you? Who do you believe you let down or are not enough for? Where were you in the story? Who were you with? Are there patterns in your life where these feelings or behaviors happen? Write it all down. Read and re-read it again.

Second, create a strategy to get rid of those feelings and change your behaviors.Think back to when they first began. What was a life-changing moment in your life when you started to feel them?  Maybe not even a moment but how did you begin to feel this way? Lots of times these feelings are based on non-truths or are things we tell ourselves because that is what we heard as children. Have you heard these criticisms before? Perhaps your father or mother told you these things.

The last step is to create a new story in your mind. Using the illustration above this would be “I am a great parent” “I am raising great kids” ” My kids love me” “My kids are well rounded” I have good friends”.

Picture what you want to be. How you want to see yourself. Stand how you would stand if you were that person, talk how you would talk if you were that person. Find someone who is like the person you want to be like. Study their habits, what do they read, who do they hang out with, what kind of shows do they watch?  All these external things influence who we are inside.

Of course, I’m not a professional medical expert, but I have lived through a lot of life changing moments and have had my own set of stories that held me back. After taking a couple Anthony Robbins courses it changed my outlook on life and helped me move past the hurt and forward into the future.  He has some really great programs. If you do ever have a chance of going to his “Unleash the Power Within” seminar, I highly recommend it. It will change your life too.  http://www.tonyrobbins.com/events/unleash-the-power-within/

Perhaps you have some remedies of your own that work.  Please share them with us here at My Turn Your Turn parenting, where we are trying to help you be the best co parent you can be and we believe it starts with you being the best you, you can be.

Thank you for following,

Written by: Tracy Taylor
Co-Written by: Erika Rossi-Raia
www.MyTurnYourTurnBlog.com

Visit us on our official website at http://www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

 

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Helping children understand that both parents still love them after a split-up

I was browsing the Internet today and I came across an article about the top 10 books for parents going through divorce.  “It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear” written by Vicki Lanski is a book that really caught my eye.

I love the idea of this friendly bear, Koko teaching children how to cope with their emotions through divorce. The book reading level is for ages 4-8 and it is designed for parents to read with their children to help them address their feelings and to let them know that the divorce was not their fault. It also provides tips for parents to use as an open discussion about their particular feelings and to assure them that they are still loved by both of their parents.

Here are just a few children’s books about divorce in no particular order:
1. At Daddy’s on Saturday’s by Linda Walvoord Girard

2. The Day’s of Summer by Eve Bunting

3. Dinosaurs Divorce by Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown

4. Mama and Daddy Bear’s Divorce by Cornelia Maude Spelman

5. Was it the chocolate pudding? by Sandra Levins and Bryan Langdo

I’d love to know how you handled these types of feelings in your household when you and your co-parent split up. Do you have any favorite books that you would like to recommend? Please share your story with us.

Thank you for following,

Written by: Tracy Taylor
Co-Written by: Erika Rossi-Raia
www.MyTurnYourTurnBlog.com

Visit us on our official website at http://www.MyTurnYourTurn.com. My Turn Your Turn is a co-parenting website designed to help organize families and improve communication between co-parents sharing children due to divorce or separation.  Specializing in co-parenting tools and shared parenting resources including an online custody calendar,  online divorce journal, child support tracker and more for blended families, single parents and high conflict divorce cases.

 

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